Thursday, November 16, 2006

Babel

My favorite part of this movie is when this crazy deaf girl like goes after the cop. The part where they shoot the Arabs was cool too. This one was kinda all over the map.

I told my mom to see it, so I guess I can tell you to do the same thing.

My nephew who is attending OCC is filling in for me.

Kinda LIke Crouching Tiger

This guy Chow Yun Fat, who does all these amazing movies where he's always pointing a .45 in someones face, he's in this one too. Except he's a Chinese King, and his wife is doing his son.

I think Hero was better. It didn't suck to hard.

My nephew who is attending OCC is filling in for me.

The one about the Magicians.

These two magicians like are trying to kill each other, it was okay I didn't hate it.


My nephew who is attending OCC is filling in for me.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: "Lady in the Water"

I guess what M. Night is up to in “Lady  in the Water," is to make a children’s film.  It’s a silly film, and there’s this kiddie notion of some sort of wacky community comprised of an apartment building.  The whole thing is fanciful and should be taken that way.  I say this as much a children’s film as “Snow White.” Which has the first scene of someone tripping that I ever saw.

Shyamalan has made much of how this story grew out of a bedtime story for his kids. Which is what the story feels like.  You can imagine a dad inventing this story to explain to his little girl where her “my little pony” necklace disappeared to after she left it at the pool.  Well, fanciful and protective parents might do that.  Anyway a water pixie in the pool, a Narf, is the entity that stole your fountain pen grandfather gave you from his death bed, that time you wrote a letter next to the pool in Daytona on spring break and fell asleep. The film does not describe which type of Narf steals socks from the dryer.

So the Narf in this story, much like  E.T., needs to get home.  And there is a whole cosmology that needs to be invoked before she can get there.  So for her to be redeemed we all have to clap our hands and say “I do believe in fairies.” There is this syrupy storyline for a character that is a writer played by Shyamalan. It’s a horribly self-obsessive and indulgent turn in the story and I enjoyed it very much.  It goes right to the heart of anybody who has bouts with delusions of grandeur.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: "Dead Man's Chest," POTC 2

Captain Sparrow is back, and unless I am mistaken he’s butched up a little. Although, the whole plot of the movie revolves around the fact that he’s definitely confused. I’d heard this movie described as merely a preview for Pirates III.  In truth, Dead Man’s Chest delivers. It’s got some great gags, and does not stint on length with a running time of 150 minutes. I’d like to think the writers have something to do with this, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio.  I have been an admirer of Terry’s for years his blog Wordplayer has been inspirational for me.

This time ‘round an international conglomerate, The East India Trading Company, has usurped the government in the Bahamas and imprisoned young lovers Will Turner (Bloom) and Swann (Knightley).  The evil technocrat exhibiting Disneyesque business sense wants to control the whole seven seas. His plan involves sending Turner out to retrieve Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp).

Okay let me tell you sumt’in ‘bout Davey Jones and his crew. It is seriously Oscar time for the CGI guys, never have a buncha monsters withstood the light of day and remained scary and interesting, nay intimidating.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: Scanner Darkly

If you have a problem with truck size plot holes then you may dislike “Scanner Darkly.” Most people who are not looking for an opportunity to see this film will point to the animation style. The Schwab ads, that ape Richard Linklater’s “Waking Life” rotoscope technique are a major annoyance. There are people out there going, “Oh no I hate that shit.” "Scanner Darkly" is better than those ads. The Schwab ads are more like a photo-shop filter. “Scanner Darkly” is animated. The lines have interpretive value, thick and thin variations, things kind of slide around in the frame adding a druggy mood. The Schwab ads also suffer from this put-on anger, loser frat-boy proto-fascist anger.

There are animated bugs and good editing, I loved the way that the sets kind of swam around, this is an animated film. Keanu Reeves is alternately Bob, Fred, and Bruce an undercover cop who very quickly loses sight of himself in his drug use and the total infiltration of surveillance that his life has become. Much of the film is spending time with Bob/Fred/Bruce’s subjects as they clown around stoned. You very quickly begin to wonder how these fools could require this level of surveillance. Don’t worry though; the movie will explain it for you. This is an American film after all, god forbid their should be something vague in an American Film.

The film is very much a trip. The film often makes use of dream logic, One moment we are at HQ with Fred and then the next moment we are on a road trip to San Diego. The characters also often suffer from that uncertainty in what you know, that you may or may not be familiar with. These aspects of the film are used to skirt or create the gaping plot holes. So are they plot holes or part of the effect?

I enjoyed it.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: Superman Returns

He’s back and he’s got a lot of explaining to do. Superman’s been gone for 5 years and the mystery of where he’s been is about as compelling as a discussion of socks missing from the dryer.  In his absence Lex Luthor has been taking lessons from Anna Nicole Smith, and Supermans Metropolis is beginning to feel reality pains. The film flirts with a laundry list of modern problems, but never any of the real scary ones. ie no terrorists. There’s something akin to global warming, and there’s bank robbers, and even a gas station hold up. Spacey is really great in this movie, and his performance is pared way down.

It’s understandable that some of the buzz on this film was that this may be the gay Superman movie.  It’s been said about many Jewish men, but what people are confused about is the soft attitude and caring demeanor.  It’s definitively not a gay Superman movie but Louis Lane is leaning to a polyamorous life style.  We so often root for Superman to throw off his Kent persona and live large in an uber Superman style.  In this film we’re looking to Louis to throw off her shackles of domesticity, or at least cheat a little bit. Not like real cheating just the different state only necked, it wasn’t cheating really, kind. We also root for something to happen, anything to happen.  There is so little super-dupering in this film, it’s kinda sad. More super-dupering please!

Warner Bros. should have stuck with Brett Ratner to direct this film.  They decided to change over to Bryan Singer a better director to be sure. Singer’s got a great touch for just the right amount of old school to make this story updated, it’s all just a little too dull. And then Ratner made the worst of the X-Men films.  I think Ratners larger cruder style would have given us the Superman movie that we needed, an entertaining one.

When Superheroes where invented they first fought organized crime, later it was Nazi’s and then Communists; Always the big fear of the day. So why can’t any of the Super heroes take on Osama Bin Laden. I’d love a fairy tale ending to our fight with Radical Islam so that Superman could go back to fighting Goombahs.

Friday, June 30, 2006

A Prairie Home Companion

A Prairie Home Companion was actually better than I was expecting it to be. It is not far from the standard Altman path with an incredible ensemble cast and the actors constantly talking over one another. All in all I thought it was kind of charming but incredibly niche. I think unless you actually listened to the show that it is about or have a huge love of silly NPR-like shows then you are not its target audience. There are definitely some cute and clever moments but not sure if this will carry an entire film for non radio or Altman fans.

Mrs. Movie

The Break-Up

The Break-Up was a pleasant surprise, I was curious but had
Pretty much convinced myself that I wasn't going to like it as I assumed it would follow the standard Romantic Comedy equation. Which of course is Great Beautiful Successful Woman meets Unemployed, Crazy or Loser Man - Women rearranges entire life in order to create a scenario where she can be with the Loser Man - They Live Happily Ever After?????? Barf! This definitely does not fit that bill. I would hazard a warning to anyone that has actually recently gone through a break up - this might not be a good film for you as it will certainly be poring some salt in the wounds. All in all I was happy to not be beaten over the head with the unrealistic saccharin endings that Hollywood seems to damn fond of!

Mrs. Movie

The Road to Guantanamo

This is a Docu-Drama in the same vein as Touching the Void - but with a lot less edge of your seat tension. This is the story of a few young British/Pakistani men that go to Pakistan for a friend's wedding and decide it would be a good idea to venture over to Afghanistan to see what it is really like and how they might be able to help the people - in late September of 2001. Not the brightest of ideas most people might think. A number of things go wrong and ultimately they get arrested by the American Army and transferred to Guantanamo Bay. This is definitely a disturbing tale - and somewhat timely with the recent Supreme Court ruling. While I was definitely interested in the telling of this horrible story I can't say that I ever was as invested as I was hoping to be. I am not sure this is the best made film but it certainly is relevant.

Mrs. Movie



The Lake House

Hmmm, I have to start with the fact that I am not a Keanu Reeves fan - especially when it’s not an action film. This is also not my favorite genre either so it did already have two strikes against it before I even stepped into the theater. The premise is pretty out there and then the film doesn't even pretend to stay within the limits of the absurd boundaries that it sets up. If you want a totally schmaltzy romantic melodrama and have no issues with suspension of disbelief than this is your film.

Mrs. Movie

PS: Whoever decided on the hairstyle for Ms. Bullock should be fired!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

District B-13

District B-13 is an exploitation film. Think “Electric Bugaloo,” and not “Satan’s Cheerleaders.” The exploitation is of a newer extreme sport called “Parkour,” it’s Urban trick running. In B-13 the gated community has taken the ultimate turn and just gated the ghetto in. Buildings each have their own boss, or protector. Damien is the good guy, and he can basically run up to a second story window, jump through it, run around the room on the walls and kick the henchman into the evil Boss Leito. Which is really cool to see.

Mrs. Movie and I discovered some time ago that there was always a little extra leeway in foreign films for cheesy stuff. District B-13 so abuses this leeway that I think from here on in, all foreign films must be as dreary and unfanciful as American Films. We must call it when we see it. Pretentious instead of deep, moronic instead of direct, childish instead of whimsy. This means you to Hong Kong and Japan. All because of some really really crappy adolescent speeches in “B-13.” Which is otherwise a rocking kick-ass movie. Graceful elegant violence, that doesn’t look like it’s all on the end of a wire.

Let’s face it Luc Besson has a flipping great eye for what is cool.

Mr. Movie

Parkour: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour
Electric Bugaloo: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086999/
Satan’s Cheerleaders: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076665/

Monday, June 19, 2006

An Inconvenient Truth

Go see “An Inconvenient Truth.”  But in case you don’t remember this… There is no debate about global warming, it is happening.  There is no debate about CO2, It is inextricably linked to global warming.  Cars are by far the biggest contributor to CO2  in our atmosphere.

What you should do about the above is the debate.

Poseidon and Da Vinci Code, one of them is all wet.

We all want to be entertained and want our movies to be entertaining. “Poseidon,” very entertaining;  “The Da Vinci Code,” not so much. Mrs. Movie and I saw Poseidon after a 10 hour plane ride, and were riveted.  “…Code” earned a few long blinks after a normal day.  

Both films are flawed, Poseidon is pitched at such a level that you miss all the fear and uncertainty of the situation.  There are never any choices just go go go, but some of the gags are pretty suspenseful. It works as a film.  Sometimes you take bread, cheese and tomato sauce and get satisfactory results even if it isn’t the best pizza you ever had.

Kurt Russell is great; he gives the least drawn out death scene ever in a film.  None of the dialogue will stand out in your memory good or bad.  Characters all get a speech to tell you who they are, everyone gets a heroic scene. The airshaft scene was very tense. A real pins and needles experience and as well as a triumph of the small in a movie that did most things very big.

The Da Vinci code gets points for being the first American film to feature a Smart Car; made by Mercedes goes for 14,000 Euro. The script feels like it was outlined by a twelve year old. “…And then they went to the Vatican, and they went to the Louve, and then they went to the old guys house from X-Men.”  Most of the mysteries are obvious from the start. You don’t feel involved in solving the puzzles, which is really the point of this kind of story.

After “Cinderella Man” we really had a lot of respect for Ron Howard.  That movie got luke-cold reviews, but it was wonderful. “…Code,” has really earned its grey badge of Wednesday. Perhaps it was the foreign soil that tripped up our most American of directors.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: Oscar Night

Jon Stewart, he was okay. The whole show is getting old. They moved to single presenters to make stuff move, but that cut down on the competitiveness. It made things a little more boring. Sure there are a lot of disappointing choices.

No choice was as disappointing to me as best feature documentary. It is quite obvious that a majority of the academy didn’t see “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room,” or “Street Fight.” These two films are immense in their meaning. Either one points to the illusion of democracy in this country, and are rallying cries for reform. Whales have been eating penguins for a long time, and we have all been breeding for a long time. Our democracy is a fragile flower in comparison to those natural occurrences. We can do something about our government. So seeing a movie may not be a lot to do, but it is a start.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: Date Movie


So we are movie lovers, and so we get all the references to other movies. There just weren’t enough good ideas to go around in this movie. The beginning set piece is amusing, and the cat taking a dump in the toilet is funny. The Editing in this movie is really sloppy. It seems like the actors are always waiting around for reactions. The hold for laughs is too long, probably because the laughs aren’t there.
Mrs. Movie reviews: Date Movie

Don't do it. Under no circumstance should you waste your time or money on this movie. Now given, this is the antithesis of the type of movie I enjoy, and the only reason that I went to see this movie in the first place is because I was stuck in Utah and had two hours to kill before my next appointment, it is still a horrible attempt at a comedy. I was hoping that it might fit into that silly movie category that when it’s so bad that it might actually end up being funny, no such luck. Poor poor Alison Hannigan so desperately searches for anyone with some comedic talent and comes up empty handed every time. This film was awkward, horrible written and terribly edited – there are multiple scenes where they clearly had no idea how to end it and simply cut out the second half with no attempt at closure or explanation of the unending joke. This film aspires to “low brow” humor and never quiet manages to get to there. As I mentioned before, just don’t do it…
Mrs. Movie reviews: Firewall


Yet again we are faced with an action film with the penultimate action star according to the film industry, none other than Harrison Ford (that's right he is a spry 64). We are introduced to the main character of Jack who is the head of security for a small chain of banks. He of course is a loving husband and wife and has an unending work ethic and knowledge of everything hacking. So far the standard level of action film suspension of disbelief that the average moviegoer can endure. The problem is that the unbelievable scenarios just keep coming and getting worse (my favorite is the pet dog's GPS collar). This movie continually makes use of one of my biggest Hollywood pet peeves – overtly convenient story twists. So much that it misuses the standard action film privilege of suspension of disbelief and jumps straight to annoying.
Mrs. Movie reviews: Tsotsi

Mr. Movie and I have recently discussed a strange phenomenon that happens (at least with us) when we go to see foreign films; we have a tendency to be more forgiving of the rudimentary nature of those films. The things that we might find cliché or melodramatic in an American film are often charming in those from other countries. This definitely rang true for Tsotsi. This is a tale of a young thug (the literal translation of the word tsotsi) that lives in an impoverished township in Johannesburg. We are witness to his life and the level of desperation that he endures for survival. He seems completely unlikable until one car jacking goes wrong and he unknowingly takes a car with a baby boy in the back seat. This of course leads to a road of redemption and true human interactions for the first time in his life. Now this is usually the type of film that I would hate, however I completely fell for this movie, it was heartbreaking but never over the top. The music was compelling and the acting quite touching. The cinematography truly took you to South Africa and made me personally feel the sadness that grips these communities.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Congratulations to the marketing staff that realized that Wallace and Gromit where big enough draws that Ralph Fiennes, and Helena Bonham Carter’s voices are not where the selling point is. BTW most expressive voice Ralph has used to date. According to the creators they stole pieces of earlier films and made tests with the voices. If so I hope Lady Campanula Tottington doing a scene from “Fight Club” is on the DVD.

A children’s movie that has not been spread with the same retarded butter most children films have been as of late. When will the studios learn, you don’t make movies for 7 years olds. You always make a movie that is entertaining to yourself, sometimes the content is appropriate for children. The ageless Wallace and Gromit continue their technophile platonic relationship in this their first feature length film.

Wallace a prototypical aspergers sufferer creates massive rube Goldberg devices to do things like dress himself in the morning, and act as security systems for the towns ultra competitive over-sized vegetable gardeners. The town is over-run with bunnies, and Wallace and Gromit’s humane bunny disposal unit has become the de facto first response vegetable guard. The bunnies have begun to pile up as one might imagine bunnies might. So in classic Wallace/Fred Flintstone/Gilligan’s Island fashion they use a bit of technology to deter the bunnies.

I’m not making the argument that this is an intelligent film, it’s just a good one. The spoofing of Were-wolf fims, and “King Kong,” are very apt. There is a bit of laughing at oneself realizing the current fiction is no more ridiculous that the one you saw last week. It is just more malleable.

The sexual tension between Wallace and Lady Tottington is palpable from the first. This is in opposition to Victor Quartermaine (Ralph Fiennes) repugnant courting of the lady. It all comes to a lovely safe platonic ending to the relief of Gromit, and several bunnies.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: “Match Point”

If you love movies, there is one thing that you always love about Woody Allen films. Is it the comedy, no it hasn’t been comedy for years, it is production value. Mr. Allen has supplanted Merchant Ivory as having the most warm realistic set pieces on celluloid. His narratives move through well appointed rooms, accurately sized apartments, and fully realized offices. All of this depicted in interesting not flat ways.

“Match Point” is a difficult film to watch. The hero is a bounder, Chris, that makes good with being attractive and keeping his mouth shut. We as viewers do not like him, and instinctively root against him. Yet the other characters in the film love him, he seems to excel in the office. You watch this character harder and harder trying to discern his charm over the other characters. Chris seems flat, his ingratiating moves seem so hapless that you emotionally reach out and fill out the other characters. It’s a masterful stroke of creating empathy in the audience. One that I am sure is not entirely welcome by most viewers.

Inducing that kind of empathy reminds me of something I once heard about Polanski directing “Repulsion,” Roman puts a bit of action in a room. He then directs Gilbert Taylor, The Director of Cinematography, to move the camera so the action is blocked by the doorway. When Taylor watches the movie with an audience, he sees all the people crane their necks, unconsciously trying to peer in to the room.

“Match Point,” kind of has a chumpy ending, a little comedy to make up for the emotional distress. It’s not really bad at all for what is some ways a re-tread of Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: “Underworld II: Evolution”

Mrs. Movie loves vampire films, so I went and saw this POS. Is it a bad sign when your cheering for the good guy to die. The first one was interesting for some of it’s production design, but this time around we’ve seen it and it’s all as tired as the plot device that ends the life of the really bad vampire.
I would surmise the plot but it barely makes sense. Vampires and werewolves come from the same immortal family. Two brothers, one is bitten by vampire the other Werewolf. These two are old school and uncivilized, and apparently despite being more powerful than the new breed, they have been held prisoner for eight centuries or so. This isn’t the plot this is the setup, unfortunately it’s explained three quarters of the way through the film.
I’m sure there is requisite violence for 13 year old boys. Which this film is squarely aimed at.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Mr. Movie reviews: Wolf Creek

The truth is out, the real monsters are people.  There is a trend I have noticed were the scariest monsters are random people that you might meet. These types of monsters make for more disturbing horror films.  The potential for a postal co-worker is so much more probable than any vampire.  This notion makes for the unnerving sensations the well executed film can leave us with.

Wolf Creek, the story of some teens waylaid in the Australian outback is a good example. The film is well executed.  While it starts a little slow, investing you in the relationships in the hero and heroines’ characters, the film eases into creepy.  There are some wonderful moments that everyone will recognize where the characters start to second guess themselves, and they are doomed by their fear of offending someone.  We as viewers reach out and start to construct the narrative at this point. The narrative takes a leap to the very bad for our subjects, and their monster.  

While the ensuing series of events and set pieces are familiar, they are executed with an enthusiastic eye for horror detail.  The characters cease to be individuals at a certain point and become the reactive meat puppets running from the baddy.  At this point though, you like the character are looking for the escape.  Which is to stay you have invested in these characters and are willing them to get out, you are empathizing with their predicament.

Just as you get comfortable and familiar with this mode, it is the narrative that turns on you.  I would have appreciated this film much more if there had been a little more unreliability in the narrator.  This could have made the beginning half of the film not quite so boring.  I could easily be convinced that this film was very well directed, and that what felt wrong or awkward in the acting made sense in the aftermath.  That could just be me helping though.